why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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