You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
