Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
