Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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