Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
