I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
