Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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