she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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