One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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