good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
