yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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