Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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