I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
