I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
