I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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