it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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