How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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