yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
