im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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