meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I wish I only lived at night.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We're too hungover to prance.
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