I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
it's like iHOP with fire
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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