He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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