Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
