we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
