Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
