The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
