Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Randomize
