I feel like I'm in dance class right now
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
