Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
