brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
