Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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