Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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