He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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