3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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