ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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