So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
