i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
