dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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