she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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