Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
