the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Randomize
