Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
