either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
