WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
