Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
