You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
