A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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