it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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