that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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