People with herpes should wear stickers.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
