Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
