OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
