once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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