My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
