Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
